Monday, 19 November 2012

It Isn't Being A Lonely Old Man You Should Be Scared Of

It's being an old man in a house with an old woman who long ago ceased to love you, fuck you or even treat you with anything more than perfunctory respect. Believe me I see enough of those on the train to make me thank a God I don't really believe in that I got out of an LTR that had basically headed that way. I have had a brief visit to that hell, and now I know there are worse things to be than an Old Guy Alone In A House. 

You won't know this unless you too have been in a failed LTR or marriage and got out with your assets, income and dignity intact (not so likely with marriage, which is why under the present laws men should not get married). If you're in a marriage that's working, you don't have a problem. Right up until the day, which you will never see coming, when she walks out and takes your money with her - though the odds of that happening decrease once the marriage lasts more than twenty years. I'm not sure exactly how many marriages of over twenty years' duration are full of joy, respect, sexual satisfaction and contentment: ten? twelve? maybe fifty? From what I see, the rest decay into mutual tolerance with public displays of respectful affection if you're lucky

Hell is a failed relationship. Sex isn't even a memory, you're sniping at each other, constantly negotiating, looking forward to the moments when you're on your own, and when you are alone, the idea that you will have to re-join them clouds the pleasure. I turned sour and grumpy, which I'm not now. I saw everything in the world that might irritate and grumpify me, and not the things that would give me a little flash of enjoyment.

You shouldn't be scared of being a sixty-year-old guy living in your own quarters, exercising regularly, in good health, working with smart younger people, reading interesting books, going to the movies, dance, theatre, concerts, taking holidays and sometimes just slouching round your rooms in your dressing-gown watching the latest hot TV series because you have a cold. 

You should be scared of being poor, unfit, in poor health , with a tired mind full of junk, and a woman you can't get rid of nagging and snarking at you at will, surrounded by equally tired old people in their mid-fifties and older at work and at home. That should freaking terrify you.



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