Thursday, 14 August 2014

The Spreadsheet Guy Hoax

What Spreadsheet Guy really proves is that most people can’t spot an obvious hoax. It’s right up there with the “Just F…k me Already" post on Craigslist and, oh, every problem Pamela Stephenson invents in her Guardian column, and every third job description. No. Make that every other job description. And as for that username? throwwwwaway29? With only one transaction in reddit? There’s a clue right there.

There’s only one circumstance under which it's real, and that’s where they both have American bodies. Overweight and out of shape. Then her “feeling gross” all the time would be an entirely appropriate thing for her to feel, because that’s what she is.

Even if she is a land whale, what’s utterly inconceivable is that a woman would post the spreadsheet itself for all to see. I could believe her talking about it without letting anyone see it, so she could control people’s reactions to it, but to put the bare fact of it out there for all to make their own minds about? Women are shrewder than that.

Whose hoax is this? Possibly by someone who wanted to prove that no matter how egregious a woman’s behaviour, there will be men rushing from the woodwork to defend her.

And oh boy did they! This story flushed out every White Knight on the planet. I swear my Big Data project will be to get their names and photos, and post them. Reading some of their comments made me wish for a real rain to to come and wash all these manginas off the streets.

It was heartening to see how many people spotted that she was the one with neither decency nor modesty, nor, apparently, any idea where the shower is at her gym. (Maybe women do that? Men don’t, of course, because we have manners. Also self-respect. At least the men at my gym do, anyway.) It was also heartening to see that as many women as men called out her awful behaviour and that the marriage was over.

But it was dismaying to see how nobody spotted that the whole thing was so implausible, so neatly balanced to let anyone tip it anyway they liked, that it had to be a hoax.

It’s a shame that it took a hoax to have someone on Scary Mommy write an insightful and compassionate article about keeping one’s sex life going despite tiredness, children and a serious need for ice cream.

However, anything that brings Rollo Tomassi, the G W F Hegel of the Manosphere, as close as he’s ever going to get to saying “Guys, do NOT get married: the game is rigged against you” has served a good purpose.

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