Thursday 29 November 2018

Retirement Thoughts - Part Two

“I can do twenty months, but I’d rather work out some way of not thinking of it quite like that”. That stayed with me for all of the Wednesday evening I wrote it and then evaporated on Thursday. My brave plans to commute in on Friday evaporated, and I schlepped the laptop home Thursday evening. Friday morning I was tired, tired in that I-have-to-physically-recover way, in the way that means the only thinking I wanted to do was the stuff on reflex, that happens in meetings.

Another twenty months of that?

I didn’t feel like this at the start of the year. I have spared you from reading all sorts of probably bogus pop-psych reasons why I might be feeling this way. Two major things have happened this year: my friend died over the summer. and we moved offices. Loss can be mourned, bad offices have to be worked in every day.

After leaving the Paradise that was the Shaftesbury Avenue office, they moved me to Bishopsgate. Where I am now makes Bishopsgate look like the West End. I get in at 07:30, and carry on with reading overlooking the back streets of the Barbican until 08:00. A few years ago, I would sit in the Caffè Nero near Holborn station for an hour, read, write or watch the people go by, but City workers are not watchable people and no City street has the presence of Kingsway. There’s no buzz in the City, just bustle. There’s a difference.

The new office is dark. The floor space is huge. The staff / desk ratio is 1.85:1. The per-person desk space is half what is was at the last office. There’s no assigned seating, so I can have total strangers sitting next to me. Even if I know them, it’s possible that we will go the whole day and not say anything to each other - office cameraderie is a thing of the past. This isn’t because I’m a mardy old git: I see the same happening to other people. They spend much of the day with headsets on, staring into an empty middle-distance. Before they would have travelled to a meeting, and actually seen the people they were talking to. Yeah, I know, productivity. However, a conference call is cheap, and if it’s a waste of time, who cares? Not so productive.

I can’t work in the chairs, and the desks are the wrong height, so I take my laptop, put on my Bose noise-cancellers and find an armchair(!) to work in for as long as I need to. I need the noise-cancellers because there are people talking in loud-and-clear telephone voices everywhere. No work requiring concentration gets done in that office except under headphones. Want to know why bank systems keep going wrong? One reason is that the on-shored workforce can’t concentrate because they keep bashing each other’s elbows, and they can’t focus enough to see the edge case they missed, which is why you see that webpage telling you there’s been an error. The air-conditioning is at least two levels cheap below where it needs to be for so many people and computers, and as we found out when there was a fire in the cafe on a lower floor, the air is re-cycled, not exchanged. The place smelled of damp-bonfire smoke all day.

It doesn’t help that the uber-manager is two hundred miles away and appears once a week. That affects the way the unter-managers are motivated and behave. They aren’t getting regular in-person verbal and body-language feedback from the only person who matters in their (working) lives. All they get are e-mails and the boss’s carefully managed behaviour on visiting day. The unters don’t feel secure or validated. Absentee uber-managers are not a good idea.

I find the place draining: lord alone knows how I get to the gym afterwards. The most I can hope for after this monumental whinge is that I stop wondering if it’s something physiological or some pop-science nonsense about getting older.

Okay. That’s the whinge over. Let’s try to be constructive here.

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