That Gatwick Drone Scam In 10 Points

1. £2.9bn deal for Vinci SA to buy a 50.01% share in Gatwick airport being discussed in private

2. One dumb report about maybe a drone from clueless members of the public, none of whom have been named or even described

2a. If it had been a pilot, ground controller or some other authoritative source, we would have seen them on TV every half-hour

3. If it is a drone and an aircraft strikes it, Gatwick will be hit with CAA enquiries, insurance claims, terrible publicity if there are any dead or injured people, along with attendant civil suits, for the next five to ten years

4. And the airport will be closed for at least thirty-six hours while they clear up the mess

5. At this point the decision is a no-brainer, because no-one wants to take any risks

6. Bring on Gatwick’s PR department / agency. You know they’ve got one, right? You know that PR departments’ job is to fill the press with BS that suits their company / client?

6a. “I know,” says Rebecca (25) in PR, “let’s say it’s a drone. The public hates drones, and only creepy weirdos use them.”

6b. PR Director calls the CEO and says “We’re going to say it’s a drone.”

6c. CEO asks “Is it a drone?”

6d. PR Director says “Who cares? It’s the right story. The public hates drones, and only creepy weirdos use them.”

6e. CEO says “Okay. Sounds good to me. We cannot screw up the thing we’re talking to the guys about, until the guys sign the thing.”

7. The media are briefed by Gatwick’s PR department and does what it is supposed to do: repeat what corporate PR departments say.

8. Absolutely NOBODY in the British public believes it, because...

8a. No authoritative witness, not even “Sharon Williams, 27, Schoolteacher from Penzance, said…"

8b. No video - there’s always video. Ten seconds of a dot does not count.

8c. Absolute unanimity in the media, which only happens when they are all singing from the corporate hymn-sheet

8d. Only creepy weirdos use drones, and creepy weirdos don’t do things like fly drones over airports because they might be creepy but they aren’t dumb

8e. Everyone knows drones have to be line-of-sight to the operator unless it’s a military drone, and those are very large and not subject to vague reports

9. On Monday, the deal goes through.

10. On Tuesday the story vanishes.

Things that make you go "Mmmmmmmm"