I wrote a long piece about the core doctrines of the Red Pill. Crafted it over many days when I should have been doing something more useful. I’m not going to post it. I don’t understand the predicament of the men who find the Red Pill a solace. I’m a born bachelor with the attention span of a five year-old, an ACoA with a drinking problem, and an addict who managed to stay away from drugs because I knew that stuff would kill me. Somewhere in all that emotional chaos and pain I knew that nobody else could help me feel better. It took me a long time to find AA and many years later to understand that my exercise + work + culture life was not instead-of but actually-it. What can I tell you, I’m an engineer / logician not a guru / psychologist.
Sometimes I discover what I believe by contrast with other beliefs. The core ideas of the Red Pill are built on the pseudo-science of evolutionary psychology, can be read as normalising a wide range of dysfunctional behaviour, and produce a cultural-conspiracy theory that mirrors the Feminist conspiracy of the Patriarchy. I’m a Brit: I don’t do totalising ideologies, I do cock-ups, follow-the-money, and logic-of-the-situation.
So in my book, it doesn’t matter why someone behaves badly. It only matters that they do. If there are significant attendant benefits, I may tolerate the bad behaviour. If I don’t want to be around it, I walk away.
Walking away has to be legal and affordable. Always. Never have anything in your life that you can't walk out on in thirty seconds flat, if you spot the heat coming around the corner. Make an exception for the time it takes to find another job before quitting the one you’re in. The point is: you can quit your job, usually with a minimal cost, even though it takes time. Married men and Baby-Daddies can’t walk out, except at high cost.
Why did I read the Red Pill for so long? I went there because I wanted to understand why my only long-term relationship turned into a sexless habit, why she behaved they way she did, and why it had to be me who broke it up. I found those answers, though it took me a while to translate them from the original evo-psycho. I stayed out of habit, and because some of the gurus say things I agree with. But lately…
I’m a bachelor. Born that way. Never was going to do domestic relationships. Bachelors like women, but the same way they like city weekends and beach holidays: it’s a nice break, but it’s not when we pay the bills and live our lives. The Red Pill guys, and even the MGTOWs, regard life without women as less-than. Not an attitude I share. I really don’t.
St Paul was right when he said that we should live to please God, but that a married man has to please his wife. I’d rather do the secular equivalent of pleasing God: work and pay taxes to discharge my economic and social obligations, exercise, eat right, don’t spend money I don’t have buying things I don’t need to impress people I don’t like, and otherwise, do as I please as long as it’s legal. You don’t have to want to live my life, only I do.
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