Eighteen Things Your MI Analysts Would Like You To Know

Everyone can't be top of our priority list. This means you.

Ever wondered how you can do us a favour?

Here's how we set our priorities: 1. your position in the pecking order, 2. the fulsomeness of your last thank-you to our boss, 3. how quickly we can do it, 4. task / project coolness, 5. how important it is to you. Sometimes we don't care about 5.

Your inability to describe what you want is not our failure to understand you.

If it's so urgent, why did you leave it in your inbox for three days?

Don't tell us it should be easy, if it was, you would have done it yourself

Because you're in a panic, we should be as well?

Remember that when they designed the database, they had no idea you would want to know that

Setting delivery dates is not a unilateral exercise

"Challenging" is what knights on horseback do. Colleagues co-operate.

You wouldn't send us an unclear request by e-mail, go on holiday and expect the information in your inbox when you get back. Would you?

The company only provides us with hammers and pliers - that's why all your problems are treated as nails

We have better computers and software at home

If you really want our time and attention, give us some of yours

We are simple people with clever minds that burn sugar: we are not kidding when we tell you to bring chocolate

If in doubt, tell us what you want to prove, who to and why. You would be amazed at how that clarifies your thinking for you.

If it's too secret to tell us about, don't ask us to do it. Find someone you trust. Or decide to trust us.

We work much harder for people we like. Try to be one of those people.