Looking at the Weights Rack and Starting Over

I’m having some kind of emotion. Or a reaction to pollen - Mother Nature’s annual fourn-month chemical warfare campaign on mankind. Or I don’t like this muggy heat. It doesn’t really matter what the heck is going on. I’m off my stride for exercising, specifically weight-training, missing sessions and having problems with the weights. It’s all hurting and too much effort.

I am, of course, trying to get back to where I was before The Accident. The one I had attempting a second rep of 200lbs on the bench press. (Bros will giggle at that and say “Do You Even Lift?". Which is why you shouldn’t listen to them.) It seems to have squished the tendons that keep my left pinkie straight and level. I can grip without any pain (now) and I can stop guitar strings (you need to play guitar to understand what size of deal that is) but the pinkie droops and it lacks firmness. (Stop sniggering at the back there.) Of course I’m upset and depressed and think I am a frakking idiot and just want to run away and hide. And that’s before I consider how klutzy my SQL coding has been recently. Thank God no-one needs anything important urgently.

This kind of behaviour requires that I beat myself up and make it worse by suspecting that perhaps retiring from the world would be better. Giving up everything and doing… I have no idea what.

So Sunday 20th, I looked at the weights rack and said: start over. Just do 110lbs for the bench press, don’t try for the 132. Do 3x10 reps. Ease back on the dumbbell presses, shoulder presses and military presses. Two sets, not three. have the symbolism of getting through a proper session. Add in the extra numbers later. Get back into the habit and pick up some confidence.

I am after all doing weights so I stay in shape. I do not need to heft bro-sized weights to achieve that end. I just need to keep it all tight and in shape.

Admit what’s true. Start over, from somewhere within the Comfort Zone. Work towards the edge over a couple of weeks. I like how I feel when I do weights, and one of the things I’ve been missing is that feeling.