A couple of posts ago, I said I would subject you to thoughts on category theory, rather than witter on about psychology any more. I have been reading and thinking about category theory, but the psychology stuff wouldn't quite leave me alone. So bear with me through the next batch of posts. There's a theme.
A cope is what I do because the world around me sucks. A adaptation is what I do because I suck.
A cope does not change the suck in the world, but it attempts to change my behaviour or attitude, so I don't mind, or am less affected by, the suck. It is inherently sub-optimal.
Using "mindfulness" to cope with the stresses at work, instead of finding a new employer.
Buying own-brand because prices have gone up and your salary hasn't, is a cope.
Reading on the commute is a cope. See? I'm not really wasting my time.
An adaptation is something I do to modify my behaviour or attitudes so I don't do something dumb, offensive, pointless and expensive, harmful, or illegal, that I seem to be more-than-normally liable to doing.
Abstinence and one-day-at-a-time is an adaptation.
Things we do to get round problems with our bodies are adaptations. I have a hiatus hernia so I take Lanzoprosole. Using a wheelchair if you don't have lower limb use. Or wearing glasses. Or people with Type 2 Diabetes who manage their diet and exercise to keep their sugars in bounds. S**t happens, and we need to adapt.
Changes we make to live in a different culture than the one we grew up in are adaptations.
Eating fresh food, not drinking too much, staying away from drugs, and not buying things you don't need with money you don't have to impress people you don't care about... those are neither copes nor adaptations. It's sensible behaviour. Even if some people need to be reminded to do them.
Some people wind up managing what they do around one or more adaptations.
Recovering addicts or alcoholics. Or people with Autism or ADHD, who need to mask. Or people who watched the wrong video, found they had a kink they never previously knew about, and now have to live with the fact it's never going to be satisfied IRL. Or people who have to do certain exercises every day. Or people who need to play up-beat music on their way to work to manage their mood. Or people who are really awful judges of character, who need to be very careful about who to spend time with.
Having to keep up one or more adaptations, is similar to always needing to watch where you're going and who's around when you leave the house to go anywhere. (Realty check: paying attention when crossing a road is okay; needing to watch out for strange people lurking in shop doorways when walking home at night means you should change neighbourhoods.) Maybe we will see something that triggers us, or maybe we will stop keeping our digs clean and turning up to work on time.
The delightful thing about this, is that one is effectively on guard against a part of oneself. A little part of us is now the enemy. Nobody puts it like that, but it's one reason people who might benefit from a character adaptation resist it: they would rather stay flawed and whole.
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