Friday 31 May 2024

Relationships as Identity (or Not)

If there’s one thing everyone in the psychology business agrees on, it’s that people really benefit from being in relationships. We are happier, feel more connected, feel that our lives have more purpose and direction, we are healthier, less stressed and more relaxed.

(That is not a factual statement, and isn’t meant to be. It is aspirational, a statement about what the consequences of relationships should be. A relationship that doesn’t have some of those consequences is “un-healthy” or “toxic”, “abusive”, “exploitative”, and other words meaning“bad”.)

Writing this, it struck me that the Big-Name philosophers don’t write much about relationships. They focus on the individual (morality) and the institutions that govern individuals (politics). They might have talked about one’s “relations with other people”, but that was about how well one dealt with, got along with, and otherwise had-to-with others. One could be arrogant in one’s relations, or too meek, or well-judged, or many other qualities.

The current idea is a tangle of different things: it refers to a kind of informal implicit contract: I expect this and that from you, and you expect this and that from me; it refers to how we behave with others; it can also refer to the possibilities for the future, and the lost opportunities in the past; the history of how and when we met, treated each other, and felt about it at the time and afterwards; it is the current condition of our dealings and feelings; it may also have institutional or social significance, such as being part of the feudal hierarchy of an organisation, or “significant others”, or “sworn enemies”. “Relationships” make up a large chunk of our biographies, and hence in some sense, our so-far realised selves.

This idea emerges with the development of a line in psychology that defines an individual’s identity as much or more by their relationships, than their personal qualities and abilities - and this makes sense, as after all, many of our personal qualities refer to our behaviour around other people. However it often turns into the implicit claim that people with very few relationships are not fully people, but rather just a collection of ingredients waiting to be made into a person by mixing and baking them in the heat of “relationships”. (There is no doubt that children do not develop into functioning adults unless they have parents, teachers, and peers, but after reaching adulthood that ends. Adults without much interpersonal contact may become eccentric - or do other people avoid them because they are already slightly eccentric?)

If there is a definition of an “ordinary person”, it is one for whom their relationships form the principal part of their biography and identity.

One may be “un-ordinary” in many ways, perhaps by having a goal or skill to which one is dedicated, and which one’s relationships either enable, or are subordinate. Athletes, performing artists, research mathematicians, entrepreneurs, politicians, and similar, are good examples. They may also have partners, children and an extended family life, but they fit around the central purpose (especially in providing excuses for getting out of unwanted purpose-related engagements). That’s where their identity comes from. If those people use therapists at all, they will use therapists who specialise in whichever type of un-ordinary they are.

Faced with a generalist, ideological psycho-therapist used to dealing with ordinary people, the un-ordinary person should apologise for being an introvert. This is a Magic Word that therapists must respect. They will usually adapt their “go out and meet more people, and join a local club or association” advice accordingly.

Tuesday 28 May 2024

It Is About The Nail

A lot of work goes into theories of how the patient / client came to have their problem. The answer is invariably something that happened in the past, and therefore cannot be changed.(1) It’s the same with a viral infection: does it really matter where or from whom you got it? What matters is whether there’s an available affordable antidote or if you have to sweat it out.

Here’s a simpler approach.

You’re doing something DoublePlusUnGood. The next time you get an urge to do it - don’t. Even if it means you have to stand under a cold shower, run a mile, or bang your head against the wall. You’re allowed to do anything (except self-harm) you need to do to stop yourself doing it. You can give the bathroom a thorough clean, or finally sand down and varnish those shelves. Whatever it takes.

Start by removing yourself from as many of the temptations as you can. Alcoholics stop going into pubs, bars and off-licenses, and stay away from the booze shelves in the supermarket. If you only ever see Eddie and Frank to have a drink, stop seeing Eddie and Frank. Nobody said this was easy. Other people with other addictions can take relevant pre-emptive avoiding action.

You’re going to think about doing whatever it is. That’s okay. This isn’t about the chaos inside your head - yet - it’s about what you do.

Just don’t do it.

Rinse, repeat, until it becomes easier.

It’s AA in disguise, of course. What the Floundering Fathers recognised was that giving up drinking (or enter your vice here) for ever was too much to contemplate. Not having the next drink is way, way, easier. So is focusing on what you need to do today, and not worrying about tomorrow or yesterday.

That’s the advice that the addict / screw-up needs to get them started. Happiness and all those other good things will follow as a consequence, once the noise in their heads has quietened down, and they have some confidence that they can get through a bad patch without giving way to the wrong temptation.

However, addicts have Meetings. Meetings don’t always work for everyone, and nobody knows how they work for the people they work for. There’s just something about being in a group of people being honest about whatever is The Problem. You’re not alone. It can be done, because others are doing it.

Meetings are for things one wants to stop doing.

The idea doesn’t work for things that one wants to start doing. Underearners Anonymous is the closest to that, and I’ve been to those meetings. It helped me, but I’m not sure it helped many of the other people. The reference book is pretty good though.

I think psycho-therapy can be useful in helping the client understand what may be getting in the way of doing the things they need to do to achieve the things they want to achieve. In the end, it comes down to a programme of practical action, and that’s either the Steps or it’s some kind of self-improvement (take a class, go to the gym, say “hi” to one girl a day, whatever). It’s not the essentially reflective and exploratory process of psycho-therapy.

Because, in the end, it is about the nail.



(1) However, knowing what that historical something is will help you see its consequences as put there by someone else and so that can be removed or ignored in the future.

Friday 24 May 2024

The Unavoidability of Ideology in Psycho-Therapy

Doctors and surgeons deal with stuff that is obviously wrong with the body in front of them. We can know what is wrong with something, without knowing what is right for it. The absence of wrong things does not mean anything is especially right about it. Between “Yuck” and “Wow” is a large range of “okay I guess”.

Doctors and surgeons are trained to identify what is or might be wrong with the body in front of them. They do not have as clear an idea of what a “good” body might function and look like, never mind how a “healthy person” might live. They might point out that the idea assumes that there is only one way, or at most a very narrow range of ways, that counts as “healthy”, while all the evidence suggests that there are many ways people can live perfectly well.

The equivalent for a psycho-therapist would be to identify the various insults, abuses, mis-uses, missed good times and learning opportunities, that the client endured on their way into adulthood. Just how badly were they brought up? Was it all the parents, or was the young client a puzzling tearaway or otherwise hard to deal with? What limiting beliefs has the client got as a result? And so on.

Having discovered those injuries, the therapist should explain what the client can do to change the way they think, how they live, who they spend time with, and so on, if the client wants to stop feeling the angers, resentments and other negative emotions, and become a more normal person. There may be limits to the changes the client can make or is prepared to make, and the therapist must respect those.

The question is where the idea of the “normal person” comes from.

One answer is that it comes from psycho-therapeutic practice. Therapists hear patients complaining that their lives would be better if only they had this and that and the other thing, and conclude that this and that and the other thing are essential requirements for human happiness. With this in mind, plus memories of the course on “positive psychology” at university, they start to concoct a list… I mean, construct a model of what a “good life” looks like. This model then guides the way they talk to, hear, and advise their clients.

The therapist should explain what is involved in this “good life” and ask the client if there is anything they particularly want, or that clashes with their other goals. The weakness of this approach is that there is a fair amount of slop in the interpretation of the specifics of the “good life”. It’s at this point that the therapist can, perhaps unwittingly, perhaps with the firm conviction of their correctness, foist their own ideologies on their clients.

This open-ness to ideology is not a bug of psycho-therapy. It’s a feature. The therapist has to use their own experience and understanding, some of which will come from their ideological leanings, to interpret the ideas in the model. It’s unavoidable.

Most of the clients want to find love, connection, cut out the substance abuse, stop self-harming, get along well with others, and stop being so damn sensitive all the time. They want to “go along to get along”, to fit into a social / political / moral way of life, “to be good members of society” - but as they see what it is to be a “good member of society”. It’s important that the client and the therapist do not have any points of serious disagreement about what that is.

Therapists and psychologists are inclined to be ideological. The majority of therapists are women, as are the majority of therapeutic clients. The subject has developed to deal with women’s problems in a way that makes sense to women. There are male therapists and psychologists, but they have to get through the market- and ideologically-slanted university courses and professional training, and so have to adopt the relevant protective ideological plumage.

Therapists openly offering Muslim therapy, Christian therapy, feminist therapy, and other overtly religious or political approaches to therapy are not doing anything wrong. They are providing a specific product to a specific market - if you’re not in that market, you won’t take that product. One possible exception would be when a therapist with a strong social justice / feminist outlook is assigned to a client by the Courts.

Tuesday 21 May 2024

As With The Body, So With The Mind

As medicine is to the body, so psychology is supposed to be to the mind or soul.

Doctors and surgeons are in the business of fixing stuff that is obviously and identifiably wrong or broken: broken bones, lumps in the brain, wounds from accidents or fights, really bad cases of food poisoning, malaria, the pox, chlamydia (the STD of preference for straight people), cleft palate… something that can be identified and treated in some way.

At the other end of the spectrum are the physical trainers and dieticians working with (say) a movie star or a Olympic team, or cosmetic surgeons. The aim is to improve something that is already okay and provides a foundation for that improvement.

It’s the in-between that’s awkward. People who aren’t actually sick, but who keep getting colds and infections. People who aren’t actually obese, but who can’t sustain much physical effort. People who have poor diets or can’t get enough exercise. There’s nothing broken and they aren’t suffering from the effects of a virus or bacteria, but they aren’t exactly shining examples of the potential of the human body either. Doctors can’t help because there’s nothing much wrong, and the trainers can’t help because there’s not enough right either.

As with the body, so with the mind.

Psychiatrists are in the business of fixing stuff that is obviously so wrong that the patient is experiencing distress and impaired functioning in their everyday life over an expended period, usually at least six months and often more than a year. That’s a general condition for a psychiatric disorder in the DSM-5. Look at the symptom lists and you will realise that to get a DSM-grade diagnosis, you’re in a bad way. There are symptoms which on their own would have people backing away from the patient slowly and politely and blocking their calls - and DSM diagoses usually require three of more of these. Psychiatrists are also doctors, can prescribe, and insurance companies will often stump up on their signature. Their medical training leads them to want to deal with conditions where there is obviously and identifiably something wrong.

At the other end are of the spectrum are life coaches, dating coaches, PR coaches, dieticians, beauticians, and physical trainers, who work with the (usually) well-off and high(er) functioning middle- and upper-classes. The aim is to improve something that is already working reasonably well.

It’s the in-between that’s awkward. The people who aren’t quite distressed, but don’t feel happy either. They are holding down a job suitable for their abilities, paying the bills, eating reasonably, not getting blitzed every night, and otherwise taking care of everyday maintenance… but they might not be having much fun either. They aren’t scared of talking to people, but it’s not their favourite thing to do. They don’t think they are awful, but there’s a nagging voice in residence somewhere in their head. Or maybe they are just oblivious and wonder why they only ever meet people once. They may get hugs, but not from the person they really want to be hugged by - just someone who will do.

These people are the market for psycho-therapy. They need to be working or have access to money because they will need to pay the therapist themselves - the insurance companies only pay for psychiatrists - and maybe they could get some therapy on the NHS. If they could get to see a GP, and the GP didn’t just write for some low-grade prescription anti-depressants.

What are psycho-therapists supposed to do with these people? Find something wrong and try to fix it? Give the patient what amounts to a self-improvement programme of exercise, dietary change, sleep routines, removing negative thinking and all that jazz? If the patient comes in with a specific problem, the chances are that what they need is a specific solution, and specific is self-improvement.

At first they seemed to follow Freud’s example, and sit quiet while the client talked, or not. The few techniques they used were close to, if not outright, hacks, from so-called “active listening” to suggesting people wrote with their other hand, as it let one’s creativity flow more easily. Some would head for childhood, to find fault there (and be rude about the client’s parents in the process), and some would look for patterns of behaviour that needed changing. Some would interact with the client and some would stay quiet. And some use the “models” from so-called “positive psychology”.

Friday 17 May 2024

Psychology as Pre-Science

The first time I read Gaston Bachelard’s The Making of the Scientific Mind, I didn’t really understand what I was reading. Same the second time. I mean, I understood the words, but I didn’t get the message. I was expecting to read a story about the change between pre-scientific to scientific ways of thinking. Since Bachelard’s subject is chemistry and life sciences, that transition isn’t as stark as it is in physics.

The book is full of extensive quotes from authors, now unknown as scientists, but famous at the time for writing about phenomena in the real world. Bachelard’s point is that they do so in a shallow way, often using analogies with familiar objects and their properties - the number of things claimed to be analogous to sponges is quite remarkable. These old-style “explanations” read fluently, and no doubt at the time, plausibly. Now, of course, it reads as grammatical gibberish.

It feels like reading a lot of contemporary psychology.

Those seventeenth-century authors made experiments as well. Hundreds of them, but all of them by today’s standards slightly mad, or trivial, having nothing to do with the fundamentals of the relevant science. We’re talking about experiments to prove which combination of coloured tights generates more static electricity. As if that might be significant in itself, rather than, as we would see it, a consequence of more fundamental laws of chemistry and the properties of the dyes and materials.

That feels a lot like contemporary psychology.

People have been making remarks about human behaviour and emotions since before Plato thought that laughter was a way of showing oneself superior to the person one was laughing at. Hume’s famous book is called A Treatise on Human Nature - it’s an extended rant about how devious and rotten people are, interspersed with some more conventional philosophising about the various aspects of the psyche (Reason, Passions, Understanding, and so on). Some of what Hume and others said was perspicacious, some more relevant to their times than ours, and some of it just wrong.

Psychology has many birthdates, and the publication of William James’ two-volume book on Psychology is as good as any other. It’s an odd book, with chapters on how the sense organs work, and a much more famous one exhorting us to the formation of habits as a way to simplify our lives. Descriptive anatomy right alongside old-school moralising. Psychologists have never gave up the combination. Even the ones who look as though they are doing “real science” by investigating the way the brain works, cannot resist the temptation to write pop-science pot-boilers about how their work proves we have no free will or that consciousness is an illusion.

In the next few posts, I’m going to wander around this subject.

Tuesday 14 May 2024

Sight-Reading

I’m also spending some time learning to sight-read. Using the Allemande from the first Bach Cello suite. Since it’s for the cello, it’s in the bass clef, mostly in the octave below middle C, with occasional excursion above and below. It’s best played in concert pitch on the guitar, as opposed to an octave lower, though it could be played an octave higher.

Repeat after me: Every Good Band Deserves Fans And Cash. Those are the notes on the lines of the bass clef, starting with the ledger line below the main stave and ending with middle C(ash) one ledger line above the main stave.

I tried this a long time ago, but I struggled with the bass clef. Attempting to sight-read on the piano, which takes the “Grand Clef” (treble on top, bass below, middle C, well, in the middle) seemed to have eased reading the bass clef, partly because I spent a long time reciting the notes on the staves.

Remember running your finger under the words to help you read? Remember pronouncing a word one syllable at a time? Remember looking at a combination of letters and thinking “huh”?

All that and more. I follow the notes for a while, and then the tune drops to the bottom of the stave and I’m like “ummm, A? B? G?” Or I follow four notes but don’t finish on the E but the D. Huh? Oh! That’s an A I should be starting on, not a G.

As for playing the notes so that an actual tune emerges?

Oh. The tune? Where’s that?

The tune emerges when I play the notes without hesitation, fluently.

Ah yes, fluency. Playing the right notes in the right order isn’t enough. There’s more.

I know what it takes to read fluently: one has to read ahead and think about that, while one’s fingers are playing what one read a moment ago, because it was passed it to the complier, translated into muscle actions which were stored in short-term memory and are now being played . Which is what fluent word-readers do.

It takes a while for the brain to create that compiler, the memory, and the mechanism to take the muscle actions from memory and execute them. Building all that is what it means to “read music”.

It isn’t memorising the piece. That’s different.

This is one of those tasks that one starts and carries on despite seeming to make no progress, because I suspect that when the brain does construct the read-ahead compiler, it kicks in fast and makes all the slog worthwhile.

Talk to me in a year.

Friday 10 May 2024

HX Effects - Effects and Sounds

There are a whole load of pedals out there, and some can cost hundreds or even thousands of pounds (Klons). All of them do one of these eight things: 

Drive (Overdrive, Distortion, Fuzz); 
Compressors / Limiters / Noise Gates; 
Reverb / Echo; 
Delay; 
Modulation (Wah, Chorus etc); 
EQ; 
Looper; 
Volume / Effects level control. 

Guitar output and amp Master volume affect the tones, especially the Drive tones.

Even back in the 1960’s, when life was simple and Jim Marshall made you an amp while you waited (well, ok, not quite), studios had a number of effects: reverb, EQ, compressors, filters, as well as a bunch of special effects that the electronic music people had invented. The ultimate piece of electronic music of the 20th century, the Doctor Who theme, was made in a 1960’s sound lab on magnetic tape that was hand-edited.

The processor in the HX Effects can handle up to nine effects (or “blocks”) in one Preset, and has six switches for each pre-set. So I can build an effect out of nine others.

None are compulsory, and some play better with others. A tone based on Drives usually doesn’t work well with anything else except a simple-ish Reverb, but I understand that shoegaze bands started with a metric tonne of distortion and added more effects. So there’s that.

The one effect that hasn’t been transferred to pedals is the resonance that an acoustic guitar has. It’s a mixture of sustain (caused by the momentum of the vibrations of the wood) and reverb (of the sound waves in the hollow body). This is different from the sound of an electric being strummed with the power off, where the resonance comes from the continued vibration of the strings. Take your fingers off the strings on an acoustic and there’s still a lingering sound. Do that on an electric and the sound stops dead.

My unconscious was looking for that acoustic resonance, and I’ve been finding it something like it in combinations of delay and reverb.

Then there’s the most divisive drive pedal there is: the Tube Screamer. Apparently if you use 11’s and a Tube Screamer, you will automatically sound like Stevie Ray Vaughan, but without, you know, the talent. I have 11’s and have tried the Tube Screamer effect, and even allowing for my lack of talent, I still don’t sound like Stevie Ray Vaughan, so there must be something more to it.

Any tone I get under these circumstances is an amp in the room tone, as opposed to guitar in the mix tone. Get a neat tone in-the-room and then use it play along with a backing track: chances are it won’t blend in. At all. For a long time now, the original sound of the instruments has been merely a starting-point for the final sound. If I do get a tone - usually by randomly messing with the pots - that blends in, often it sounds thin and unconvincing in-the-room.

So here’s the pay-off.

In one session recently I was tweaking one of the ready-made presets in the Effects: it had a delay, reverb, chorus, boost and maybe some distortion. I took out the distortion, experimented with the chorus, reverb and delay, and started playing some triads. Twenty minutes later, I stopped.

That’s when I realised what I was really looking for. A sound that makes me want to play more and more. That I can get lost in. Usually that means something ambient-y with delays and reverbs, but it needn’t. So far I’ve found a couple, not counting neck-pickup-clean + a sprinkle of reverb.