The Twelve Promises

If you want to see how well your recovery is doing, the Twelve Promises make a good check. I thought it was time I did this.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. I'm not sure about “half-way through”, but I'm amazed now.

We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. Not so much. I've definitely lost the old misery, but I'm not sure I really do happiness. There's always something else I want to be doing and somewhere else I'd like to be – I just don't get upset or sad about it anymore.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Okay. Signed up to this one.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. Yes. I'm still a fidgit, I can't keep mentally still either and I have no idea if this is what you mean by “serenity”, but compared to what I used to feel like, this will do.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. Now I have a thing with this. I'm not sure my experience is of any benefit to anyone else. Or maybe I don't know how to share it so it is. I hardly ever share, unless it's round-robin, because I can never think of anything I need to say.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. Okay. Signed up to this one as well.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Not so much on this one. I used to be interested in other people in an unhealthy co-dependent way and I've stopped that. I'm not sure I know how to relate to people in a healthy way. And I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with people when I've got them. Well, I am, but I'm quite happy going to the movies or on holiday or out for a meal on my own. I always feel I have to “deal” with people when I'm with them socially.

Self-seeking will slip away. Okay. Signed up to this one.

Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Not so much on this one. I'm outwardly more upbeat and socially-skilled, but inwardly nothing has changed much.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. For a long time I misunderstood this one: I thought it said “economic insecurity will leave us”. It doesn't. It says the fear of it will leave us. It has. I always forget that fear of people is supposed to leave me. I don't think I ever was afraid of people – see previous comments.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Yes, I handle things a lot better these days. But if someone kicks in the emotional dynamic of my father, I'm off the rails.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. I'm going to pass on this one. God is a metaphor for me, and this promise needs him/her/it to be real.

It's not all supposed to happen at once anyway. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Amen.